Homecoming Day

 Homecoming Day

It is homecoming day, and I have been waiting on the peir for hours to get
a glance of you, my husband. Everyone has been hugging and kissing around
me, where are you? My exitement starts to grow more and more with the love
around me. Finally I see what appears to be you. Is that you? It has been
so long that pictures have had the obligation of reminding me of what you
look like. That is all I have to remind me. You seem taller, are you? You
bring me a kiss and a sincere smile. Then you say " It will be a while till
I get off the boat, I have to go." So that was it, I waited here for 4
hours in total to say hello. Just like a time before, I get attached, but I
still cannot be with you yet.

A week has gone by now, since you first arrived home. But still you are not
home that much. You are always at work. You try your hardest to be close to
me, to kiss me, to hold me, but I still cannot bring myself to let you in.
I know it is just a matter of time before we are apart again.

It is now 2 months later, everything seems as normal as it can be. With
every day, I worry more and more about the countdown to departure. I spend
most of my time dreading the day you will leave again, this doesn't leave
much room for consentrating on the time we do have together.

Here it comes, the day before you leave, once again it is here sooner than
it should have been.I suppose there are just not enough days to have with
you. I am scared again. I can't cry as you say your goodbyes to me. I want
to , I just can't. It is not that I don't care, it is just pure shock and
fear more than anything. Will I make it without you again? What if
something goes wrong? Oh wait, something always goes wrong as soon as you
leave. But somehow I make it through.

I don't want to hurt anymore. I am starting to wonder why we faught so
much, why did we waist our precious time? Then I remembered, it is a long
and tedious road, and each day brings new feelings.

Some times I feel so old, so alone. It seems so pointless to torture myself
like this. Is this what marriage is a about? After a while I start to get
into the swing of life without you. I start to forget things about you. I
try to keep myself as busy as possible, but even throughout my efforts I
still find you creeping into my mind-no matter how hard I try to ignore it.

I knew it was going to be like this, I married you with somewhat full
knowledge about this life style, yet should it be this hard? Do I really
want to look back at my youth and remember lonely days?

Then I get that phone call, the one that eases my mind, the one I have been
waiting for. This is the day I remember why I love you so much, it reminds
me exactly why I am living this life; for the hopes that one day I wont
have to anymore.

-For all the military wives out there, I have an understanding of your
life, and a great respect for you for living it. My husband always tells
me, "You chose this life. Just remember that at the end of this journey you
will have lost nothing, but gained an appreciation for life and it precious

contributed by -K.H
(c)July 1st 2000 [This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.